The Case of the Frozen Street Waffles

Our family encounters some strange things during our paper route. One Saturday morning Nate was approached by a man looking for directions. After recieving them the man gave Nate a pepperoni stick as a token of his appreciation.

The latest oddity has been a trail of frozen waffles along South Roosevelt Street. We discovered them and at first we thought it was a bummer that some guy lost his breakfast. Butterscotch thought they'd make a tasty snack along the route and woofed one down before we could get her to drop it. She picks up some foul things along the route, a waffle being the least disgusting of them.

Imagine our surprise when a week later in a different spot we found another waffle in the street. It was a rainy week and throughout the next five days waffle slowly disintegrated before our very eyes. Well, today along the route in yet a different spot we came upon a strawberry variety. Nate got a chuckle out of it and I then told him that this isn't the first waffle we've seen. We spent the next block coming up with theories as to who or what could be dropping waffles at random. Our first thought was that the family dog was sneaking into the freezer at night, hiding the waffle until morning and then runnning it outside. There was a hole in that theory though as the dog would've eaten it. Another thought was that aliens were conducting experiments on the morning eating habits of earthlings, they'd abduct food out of the fridge, collect their data and then toss the waffles out. That just didn't make any sense though. Our best guess as to who could be heaving these uneaten breakfast circles into the road goes something like this:

Mom: Billy! Billy! You have 5 minutes to be at school. Are you ready?
Billy: (Very sleepily and grumbling) yes...
Mom: What?!?
Billy: I said yes.
Mom; Well, have you eaten anything?
Billy: I'm not hungry.
Mom: You need to eat, breakfast is the most important meal of the day.
Billy: I said I'm not hungry.
Mom: You have to eat.
Billy: But, Mom
Mom: No buts about it, you're going to eat something.
Billy: But if I eat I'll be late for school.
Mom; No worries, son. I bought you some frozen waffles. I'll just pop them in the toaster and by the time you put on your backpack they'll be all ready for you to eat on your walk to school.
Billy: I don't like waffles.
Mom: You used to love them when you were 2.
Billy: But I'm 14. And 14 year olds like Toaster Strudles.
Mom: Well you're just going to have to eat waffles as I bought the variety pack at Costco.
Billy: Whatever, Mom, I just need to go so I won't be late.
Mom: Look, the waffle's done. Doesn't that smell good? C'Mon, Billy. Give me a kiss and take your waffle.
Billy: (disgusted) FINE!

On his way to school Billy looks back to see his mom peeking at him through the window, proud of herself for raising such a fine responsible young man. He gives her a wave and meets up with his buddy, Jim.

Jim: What's that, dude.
Billy: It's a waffle. My mom forced me to take it.
Jim; You're such a Momma's boy. How come you're not eating it?
Billy: Waffles are gross.
Jim: No doubt!

Billy looks back again. His mom isn't there and with the flick of the wrist he flings his waffle like a frisbee to his dog.

Jim: Nice!
Billy: It gives new meaning to the term "leggo my eggo" doesn't it?

With that the boys walked merrily to school.

Mom: Billy, how was school today? How was your breakfast?
Billy: Just great, Mom.
Mom: Oh goody! I'll just make you a waffle every morning from now on and you won't have to worry about not eating anything.
Billy: (groaning) Oh no......

Now Jim and Billy have come up with a contest to see how much further the waffle will fly every morning and Jim has since requested that his mom buy some Eggos on her next grocery trip.