Let's See The Brawny Man Absorb This With One Sheet

Butterscotch peed on the floor today. I was disgusted as I was mopping it up with half a roll of paper towels. This got me to thinking. Why is it with paper towel commercials the only spills you see are juice and soup? Naturally, the people (usually perky moms) can clean up the spill with a single sheet. Give me something I can use! Show me you can clean up kid vomit, dog pee, an over-watered a houseplant, my husband's spilled beer etc. with a single sheet of paper towel and I will be inclined to purchase your product. If anything, it'd make a great SNL parody commercial.